Andrew Wells (storyteller_one) wrote in the_embattled,
Andrew Wells
storyteller_one
the_embattled

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Don't drink the water.

I was not liking anything about this. I mean, holy jedi, we had come to Acapulco, and a painstaking journey it was, gringo, and it wasn't getting any easier.

The way that I looked at things was this way, we had escaped. Sure, I was saddened that the wild witch had killed Warren and I missed him greatly, not that I was admitting how much I missed him, aloud, but I missed him, but the flip side to us getting on that rig and coming this way, was one of two things. Either Willow killed us, or we were jailed again as co-conspirators in a robbery and as much as everything sucked down here, it beat both of those options.

Johnathan didn't see it that way, though, or course. He was whiny and worried and everyday, he was doing the noble, Doctor Who, we should go back to California and turn ourselves in. His problem wasn't that Warren was dead, which made me want to bitchslap him, because he never really cared about us or the trio. His problem was that we had done all of these bad things and that we needed to atone for them.

Still, for all of his bravado, he didn't take a trip back to the north and across the border, and he wouldn't get me to do it, either, at least not for the reasons that he wanted to. I only felt bad that Warren was gone...and oh yeah, at the moment because while sitting in the sun by a pool and watching all of the hotties go by with nothing on and drooling, I had a tea of the long island variety that seemed to be made from non-bottled water. I didn't think that there was supposed to be water in the drink...

I felt my whole body heating up and wanted to jump in the pool, but instead, drew a crowd as I threw up repeatedly, and suddenly, had the desire to go to the bathroom, and pronto, tonto. I was getting dizzy all over and could hear everyone laughing at me and saying that I must have drank the water and the old saying, don't drink the water here, occurred to me. This was Acapulco. They were a touristy place with men and women wearing nothing by the pools! How could I be sick from drinking the water here? This wasn't the desert!

Enough of that, though, as Johnathan, also calling me names a minute ago, led me towards our room, paid for because of magic's that we used to help some weird guy, also started to get sick, and as we reached the hall where our room was, he got sick too. He had been drinking a cocktail, but it must have had some water in it.

I could barely get the card key into the door and as I went to get first dibbs on the toilet, Johnathan pushed me out of the way, like he had to go worse then I did. We wrestled for the door, which was hard, because, hey, head spinning here, but managed to win, as Johnathan started to throw up again. I sat down, miserable, getting sick and liquifying the toilet even more, as I covered my nose because of the raunchy smell. It kept coming and coming and I needed hydration. I needed water.

I didn't think we had any bottled water and Jerkathan was going to need some too.

[Johnathan]
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Ugh. I felt like I wanted to die. Andrew and I were in the bathroom after drinking some cocktails from the local bar. We were puking our guts up. "We..we're being punished. I told you we should go back to Sunnydale and turn ourselves in."

I ran the bathtub to wash away my vomit. We wrestled for the toliet, but Andrew won that fight. I remained on the floor and leaned my back against the tub. "The punishment won't stop coming. I know you miss Warrne a lot, but he wouldn't be sitting around caring about us if one of us died." Warren was a good friend of mine, but I never really trusted him. He's the one that got me and Andrew into this mess. We followed him like a bunch of cult members. Willow taught him a lesson and killed him. She would have taught us a lesson too, but we were smart enough to run and not look back. Now, we were on our own. The Trio was now The Duo. We weren't much of anything.

"I need water. I'm going to dehydrate to death if I don't get some water in me, now. Reminds me of that episode of Dr. Who. Maybe, if we dig into the ground we'll find water." Andrew looked at me. "Wait, that won't do anything for us. We can't drink the water. I think it's time to go to the store and get some bottled water for the week or else we'll have diarrhea for months."
"We..we're being punished. I told you we should go back to Sunnydale and turn ourselves in."

"No way, Johnathan. We've had this conversation, already. If we go there, we end up in the big house, and I don't want to be some Billy Ray's little momma. And you're smaller then I am. Besides, we didn't do anything wrong. It was Warren doing all of the planning..."

He looked at me. Okay, it was flawed logic, because Warren's hot girlfriend had died and we tried to set up the slayer for that, and then there was the bank robbery with the help of m'fashnik and the attempted fair robbery. But still, we hadn't done anything wrong.

"The punishment won't stop coming. I know you miss Warren a lot, but he wouldn't be sitting around caring about us if one of us died."

"Talk to the hand on that one. I don't miss Warren."

He gave me a look and I just kept the hand out and kinda shook my hips a little bit. So what if I was lying? This was Mexico and there were girls everywhere. We had to stay away from the water, but the girls were everywhere.

"I need water. I'm going to dehydrate to death if I don't get some water in me, now. Reminds me of that episode of Dr. Who. Maybe, if we dig into the ground we'll find water."

"Okay, Ohura. Water was what got us into this in the first place..."

Before I could think about it anymore, I rushed to the sink and vomited some more to the point where I couldn't breathe. When the spell was over, I fell to the floor. "Bottled water might not be the worst idea, though. This is lik a survivor episode. We have to fight through this near-death experience and find our way to a bottle of aquafina. It could be fun."

"Wait, that won't do anything for us. We can't drink the water. I think it's time to go to the store and get some bottled water for the week or else we'll have diarrhea for months."

I nodded and at the mention of water, I had to rush back to the sink, with Johnathan hogging the toilet. We were truly warriors for havign to endure this experience. I puked again, and fell to the floor.
"No way, Johnathan. We've had this conversation, already. If we go there, we end up in the big house, and I don't want to be some Billy Ray's little momma. And you're smaller then I am. Besides, we didn't do anything wrong. It was Warren doing all of the planning..."

Andrew had a point there. I didn't want to become Billy Ray's little momma. He didn't want to listen to anything I had to say. I almost wanted to wrestle him, again.

"Talk to the hand on that one. I don't miss Warren."

"Sure. Whatever you say Andrew. And, I'm not talking to your hand. I don't even want to talk to you. You're lucky I can barely move. I'm two seconds from jumping on you." Andrew glared at me and I gave him the evil eye. I complained about the water.

"Okay, Ohura. Water was what got us into this in the first place..."

"You think so? I had an alcoholic drink. There's no water in those. You think they watered them down? How cheap. What's wrong with these Mexicans? You'd think they're trying to make us sick on purpose." I was going to add on, but Andrew ran back to the toliet and threw up some more.

"Bottled water might not be the worst idea, though. This is like a survivor episode. We have to fight through this near-death experience and find our way to a bottle of aquafina. It could be fun."

I laughed. "You know...I think that's a great idea. We have to show our audience that we will survive and we will conquer, and get that Aquafina." I stood up with my hands at my hips, like Superman. "Let's do it." Just as I was feeling more confident, Andrew fell to the floor. I knelt down beside him.

"Andrew. A-Are you alright? You're my survivor teammate. You can't quit on me now. I guess I'll be making a solo mission to get us water." I slapped Andrew in the face. He snapped up. "Ugh. You need to dump the whole bottle of Scope down your throat."
"Sure. Whatever you say Andrew. And, I'm not talking to your hand. I don't even want to talk to you. You're lucky I can barely move. I'm two seconds from jumping on you."

That would have been bad. I felt like dying on the floor and if I threw up again, fishing my innards and my stomach and everything else that wasn't an innard out of the sink was a possibility. Even though, at full strength, I could so kick Johnathan's ass.

"You think so? I had an alcoholic drink. There's no water in those. You think they watered them down? How cheap. What's wrong with these Mexicans? You'd think they're trying to make us sick on purpose."

"It was the ice. Since the ice was brown, I'm thinking that they don't use bottled water for the ice and if they do, they're just bottling up the tap water. If I wasn't so loopy, I would have mentioned the brown ice thing. Sorry."

"You know...I think that's a great idea. We have to show our audience that we will survive and we will conquer, and get that Aquafina."

"Let's do it."

I looked at him and felt strongly like doing nothing. That is, until a bellow filled my body starting in my stomache area and I was back on top of the sink, again.

"Andrew. A-Are you alright? You're my survivor teammate. You can't quit on me now. I guess I'll be making a solo mission to get us water."

He hit me after I had fallen back down to the ground. "Ugh. You need to dump the whole bottle of Scope down your throat."

"Buttwipe!" I smacked at him, but had no strength to. "You're one to talk, you need a whole bottle of listerine."
"It was the ice. Since the ice was brown, I'm thinking that they don't use bottled water for the ice and if they do, they're just bottling up the tap water. If I wasn't so loopy, I would have mentioned the brown ice thing. Sorry."

The ice! Dammit! Why didn't I notice that? My face turned to disgust.

"Buttwipe!"

Andrew slapped me. I slapped him back.

"You're one to talk, you need a whole bottle of listerine."

I glared. He was right. My breath wasn't much better. I got up and stumbled over a mumbling Andrew and began to brush my teeth. I wasn't feeling too bad now. I was really tired. "I'm thinking we should call it a night, and go venture for some Aquafina tomorrow." I managed to make it coherent for Andrew to understand, since I was brushing my teeth. "Get up off the floor and lay in bed. You look like a homeless person."

When I finished, I helped Andrew up and walked him to the bed. "Come on you big baby. No more drinks for us for a long time. Or we can just settle for drinking good ol' beer." I sat him on the bed and he leaned back on the pillow. I went to the other side of the bed and took my place next to him. We really had to find a room with two beds, but I could deal with this for now.

Although, we had our moments, Andrew was still my friend. We only had each other now. We had to watch each others' backs. I just think we should be responsible for what we've done. Ok, so Warren did everything but we were accomplices. Now, we had to be on the run for the rest of our lives. We were fugitives from the law. Wanted men. It was straight out of a movie. On one end, I wanted to turn myself in. On the other end, I didn't want that for me, or Andrew. "We have to seek redemption ourselves. In our own way. Maybe, we should start going to church." I looked over at Andrew. He looked at me and rolled his eyes.
"I'm thinking we should call it a night, and go venture for some Aquafina tomorrow."

"Oh, okay. We can play si degrees of Kevin Bacon as we lay down."

I didn't know if laying down would be a good thing right now, though, because the room was still spinning and I couldn't get the thought of all of those medieval germs in the brown water, that were now in our bodies, out of my head.

"Do you think that we should sleep without slugging down a lot of bottled water, Johnathan. We have to be so dehydrated right now. Besides, we drank so much, that we'll feel even worse when we wake up, if we don't get water in the system. It's like that one episode of tales from the crypt where the vultures were circling over that one guy, except...except that there aren't any vultures, and well, there's water down the street..."

He looked at me with a smile, and then looked annoyed, but I changed clothes, rinsed with scope and grabbed my wallet. I fixed my hair too. You never knew when a seniorita would be around.

He did the same and somehow, we made it to the elevator and then outside, where it was rugged hot. "It's white hot out here, man. I feel like I'm going to collapse on the street before we get to the bodega."

He pulled me as I mewled with discontent and he called me a baby. But, we reached the store, filled up two bags with some kind of bottled water that I had never heard of before and made it back to the hotel.

We guzzled. "Water is so good. It's better then sex right now."

He looked at me. "What?"